Lessons Learnt

Here are some lessons i was taught this Wednesday.
Two ladies came up to my desk and one asked if we sold condoms. (???) Seeing how confused i was she goes further to say she understands that we have a clinic at JCS and so that would mean we sell condoms. " Uh... sorry madam, but it is not that type of a clinic".
At this her friend turns to her and says "Den ah wha u a do wid condom, u nuh jus have baby fi 'im".
"Yeh but mi nuh wan' catch nutten fram 'im, further more, mi nuh wan' no more pickney, 4 is enough" (my heart actually did a small victory dance here, all is not lost it seemed). "No sah, all 'im too pretty fi me fool myself seh a me one him have an' mi nah sidung come mek 'im gi mi nutten"
"So den 'ow u get 'im fi use it?"
"All mi do is tell 'im seh wen mi go a di docta, 'im seh mi 'ave NUFF NUFF infection an' 'im gwine catch it if we nuh use condom"
"OHHHHH, i see u"

The ladies continue their conversation as i try hard to concentrate on my work and not laugh. However attempts proved futile as they decided to include me in their convo.

"Don't it miss?"
"Pardon me?"
"Don't is true seh ah simple sex dat get u pregnant?"
"... uh ..what?"
"Yeah man, cause me rememba all di one Morris weh tun mi ova, fling mi up an' ting inna all sorts a way an' mi neva get pregnant, but a one Sunday night when we 'ave some simple sex dat ah get pregnant. I couldn' believe it"
Then the friend chimes in, "u know, now dat i think bout it is true, is di same ting wid dis las' one mi 'ave"
"Yes missis, a 4 pickney mi 'ave an all a dem come from SIMPLE sex, don't is true miss?"
At this point the nurse walks up and i have to go and speak with her and explain the initial reason for the ladies' visit to JCS (thank the Lord cause i know i was about to laugh)

So there u have it 2 very important lessons:
1) how to get ur s.o. to practice safe sex
2) how not to get pregnant until u are ready (forget all u have learnt before, this is based on true facts, not from some book!)