More Adventures of Invigilating

I know you want it, so i'll give you a sample of what some people have to endure..oh sorry, mark and grade every year. Please tell me the grade you would give this individual based on an excerpt of his short story. (This was for the CXC English Language Exam on Friday)

"so remember bob don't have any children. so it where a lady living in the community helping him by the name of sharon. things was going slow for bob. since bob could not work. times was hard."

"they give bob 2 months to live but him dead. that was the end of bob. rest in peace."
Yes, that was the last sentence of his story.
No, I am not making this up.

Lessons Learnt from invigilating.
Always repeat instructions more than twice, but don't think that means everyone will follow these instructions.
People will try anything to cheat...anything!
Be on the lookout for students trying to hit on you, they all try it, from answers to phone numbers they will ask you.
Repeat instructions once more and look for the smart ones that did the exact opposite.
Pray for the students as you see the rubbish that flows from the pen unto the paper, because you know it must be the pressure.


One last thing, I remember long ago when counting we would "call ourselves 5" then add whichever number was required. But please tell me how our CXC grades are going to improve if at this level people are still calling themselves 5 and counting aloud on their fingers? We need to do something..now! Where do we start?